My Oneshots
by ooOCaptainTurboOoo
Summary: One-shot stories, not my best work and most were done fairly quickly. Read Introduction page for more information. Just FYI Ron bashing will probably occur.
1. Information Page

**WARNING!**

**Since I haven't put this down as any pairing since these are one-shots and not always based on one character I should warn you of the following:**

**1. I am a die-hard Harry/Hermione shipper so there will be no main canon couples here.**

**2. There will be major Ron bashing as he is my most hated character so if you do like him your better of not reading any further.**

**3. Other Weasley bashing, I probably won't be as hard on them as Ron but there will be bashing of other Weasley's (Probably Ginny and Molly).**

**4. These are one-shots and not to be taken seriously, don't like them that's fine but don't waste time flaming me.**

**5. I tend to write one-shots when my writing MoJo has left me so these are not very well written stories.**

**STORY INFO AND WARNINGS:**

**Ch.1: Luna VS Santa-Rated T-Mostly humour.**

**Ch.2: Weasley Woes-Rated M-Mostly humour-Ron bashing-Slight lemon.**

**Ch.3: Luna's Addiction-Rated K+-Mainly Luna/Hermione friendship.**


	2. Luna VS Santa

**Luna VS Santa**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Harry Potter! STOP ASSUMING I DO!**

Luna Lovegood stared up at the clock in her living room, which showed it had just turned eleven thirty,

She gave herself a quick shrug; yes she was ready, ready to take out the most evil and sinister being to ever exist...Santa Clause,

Luna wasn't fooled by the newspapers or the happy stories of a jolly old fat man delivering presents to everyone, no she knew the truth, the Galeton Fairies had told her the story of the real Santa Clause, how he would take the souls of children and force them to become his slaves to do his bidding, well not any more,

Luna was ready for him, she felt she had proven herself after the ministry fiasco several weeks ago and now here was **her **dark lord to take down,

She was ready, she had left out the milk and cookies as bate to catch him off guard, suddenly she heard a bang coming from the roof and someone attempting to come down the chimney, she hid behind the sofa, waiting for the perfect opportunity to hex the soul stealer,

There was a big bang on the floor and Luna craned her neck around the side of the sofa and there he was,

The fat man himself munching away at the snack she had left out, she leapt out,

"NOW I HAVE YOU!" she screamed at him, Santa watched din horror at being caught,

"**Reducto!"** Luna said sending the blue streak of light at Santa who took it head on causing no apparent damaged,

"Now, now Luna you've been a good girl all year, Now give me your soul and we'll be on our way" he said in his jolly persona,

"**Stupefy!"** she tried, the orange beam of light again did little to no damage, Santa laughed out,

"Well my dear looks like it's time for us to go" he pulled out a jar and Luna could feel her soul being pulled away, she grasped the edge of the sofa, taking one last breath she cried out,

"DIANA!" all of a sudden a pixie flew out of the Christmas tree and looked on in horror before attack jolly old saint nick, The old man tried swatting at the pixie who leapt upon his face as causing him to smack himself in the nose...hard,

"OWWWW!" he cried out, suddenly Luna got back up and ran forward and kicked Santa right in the...

"OWWWW MY CHRISTMAS BALLS!" he screamed in a very high-pitched voice, Luna ran back to collect her wand and finish this, Santa suddenly began to feel it was time to flee,

"Ru...(cough)...Rudolph you dopey sod...(cough)...come help me!" he yelled, suddenly the front door broke down as the red nosed reindeer made a beeline for

It's master and picked the fat man up (with difficulty) onto is antlers,

Suddenly Luna saw her chance to stop the megalomaniac begin to leave, she raised her wand and began throwing hexes, she looked at her pixie friend and together merged there selves with each other as Luna became 'Super Luna', not wanting to waste the chance she released all her magic as the house began to emit a strong white light and suddenly she blacked out.

**Ooo~ooO**

Luna awoke to find herself downstairs, as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, suddenly something caught her attention...the milk and cookies were gone!

Luna now saw something else that she hadn't noticed earlier, a small package under the tree, she looked at the card attached to the present,

'To Luna, from Santa'

Luna screwed up her face in anger, now the bastard was toying with her; she suddenly had a fiery gleam in her eyes,

"You may have won this battle Santa but you have not won the war"

**Ooo~ooO**

**A/N**

**I re-edited this One-Shot as I'm finally back online after been away for a while (Blame T-Mobile, I do)**

**Anyway I'm currently re-writing my stories and was wondering if anyone wanted to become co-writers as I can usually come up with ideas but when it comes to the actual writing I tend to hit a wall…a lot.**

**Anyway if your interested PM me.**

**Man it feels good to be back.**

**TurboOneTwenty**


	3. Weasley Woes

**Weasley Woes**

**Disclaimer: ****Insert witty joke here about me not being JK Rowling therefore not owning Harry Potter.**

_**PLEASE READ! A/N and a WARNING: Takes place in my Brand New Day reality, I did originally place it there but it felt out of place so here it is.**_

**Ooo~ooO**

Music blared through the entire house at such high volume the house felt like it was vibrating,

Ron Weasley couldn't stop the drunk grin on his face as he was currently drooling over some blonde girls breasts, he didn't feel the first slap but the second one hit him hard enough to knock him backwards onto the couch,

He had overheard about a graduation party his class was having and deciding they simply forgot to tell him decided to make his way into town,

It had only been a couple of hours ago but the entire class had just finished their GCSE's, and wasn't to bothered by how he had done, he was sure he gotten at least decent grades, it wasn't like he was stupid, he felt himself dozing off when he heard some yell out,

"Pizza's arrived!"

Suddenly Ron felt a surge of energy and rushed to get to the front, the guy who lived hear must have ordered it Ron thought to himself,

Ron tried with all his might to get to the front worried that none of any of the pizzas would be left,

"Hey watch it Fat ass!" some guy said as Ron pushed him aside and quickly grabbed almost an entire Pizza to himself,

As he sat back down he took in how great this evening had been so far, here he was with the cool kids getting drunk and eating Pizza and was well aware what could happen at these parties and was certain he could find a girl here who would have sex with him,

The only downside of the night was that his little sister Ginny had been invited, he had tried to stay away from her all night not wanting her around and hurting his chances of chatting up the girls,

He hadn't heard the discussion across the room that was currently taking place,

"Who invited that guy?"

"No idea, I know his sister was invited but not him"

"He took nearly an entire Pizza dude, there's not much left"

"Well he's an obese asshole. What do you expect?"

Ron continued to munch away happily, suddenly dark haired girl came and sat on the free space of the couch and was currently talking on her mobile,

"No, Dale and I aren't staying all night….No Sis I promised I'd come meet you off the train….That's fine you arrive at nine right…yeah…"

Somewhere in Ron's underdeveloped mind manners were never installed upon him and his pretty drunken state he came up with what he felt was a good idea,

"Hey gorgeous" he said giving what he thought was a charming smile but in reality looked like an evil Ronald McDonald,

"One moment sis" the girl held her palm to the phone and turned to Ron,

"Can't you see I'm on the phone?" she said with a touch of venom, Ron not perturbed, shifted over a little as the girl went back to her conversation,

He unnoticed put his arm around the girl and rather sneakily squeezed her right boob causing the girl to squeal in shock,

"Ahh…WHAT THE HELL DO YOUT HINK YOUR DOING!" she screamed at him, Ron looked slightly confused,

"Come on, you know you liked it" Ron said, everyone suddenly started looking around at them, even the music wasn't killing the girls voice,

"FUCK YOU, YOU SLOB!" she yelled at him, suddenly a guy came over looking concerned and angry,

"Love what's wrong?" he asked as he put his arm on his girlfriends shoulder trying to clam her down, the girl was still pissed off however,

"THIS PRICK TOUCHED MY BREATS!" she fumed, suddenly the guys eyes turned to Ron and quickly grabbed Ron by the shirt before throwing a punch right in Ron's face knocking him out instantly,

He was then tossed outside knocking over the bins before dropping onto the grass where he laid until morning as everyone else went back to happily partying.

**Ooo~ooO**

_**(LEMON ALERT)**_

Ginny moaned happily as the boy above her continued to pump away in her and started sucking on her breasts,

"Oh Terrance…keep doing that baby!" she cried out happily, he stopped for a moment,

"It's Travis actually" he said before quickly reattaching himself to her nipple,

"Sorry Travis then" she rolled her eyes and went back to enjoying the sensation coursing through her body,

She and a few other of the younger girls had been invited to the party a couple of days ago, even though she knew it was only so some of the graduates could hook up with someone she didn't care, she had lost her virginity nearly a year ago,

She knew her brother Ron however was not invited since he was disliked by almost everyone at school and trying to keep it from him had been a challenge, sadly he had ended up overhearing about it from someone else and she had been worried he would ruin her evening,

Thankfully he had tried to avoided her all evening when Travis had started hitting on her and they were soon making out and making there way to one of the bedrooms and undressd and her 'Date' quickly enterned her without warning.

Suddenly they heard a girl screaming at someone downstairs and both Ginny and Travis stopped for a moment as they heard continued screaming for a moment whished turned to silence then suddenly a loud crash outside,

Satisfied no one would be disturbing he went back to pumpin in and out of Ginny who let herself enjoy the night letting her thoughts dissapear.

**Ooo~ooO**

The next morning Ginny woke up in a strange bed all alone and naked, her head was pounding a little from the vodka she had been drinking, she felt something strange around her private area, feeling down she found a small amount of semen running down her entrance,

_"OH SHIT!"_ she thought to herself as she quickly got dressed and dashed home as quick as she could not noticing her brother laid out unconscious on the grass.

**Ooo~ooO**

_**Later that day:**_

"HELP, MY HANDS ON FIRE!" Fred Weasley yelled at his twin brother George who had dashed away somewhere, the two had been trying to create a alternative fuel for they motorbike and sadly failed as Fred was now sporting a very red and definitely to be marked hand after the concoction had blown up and set his hand on fire_**,**_

Fred and his brother George currently attended college and were studying Chemistry, every now and then they would 'borrow' some supplies and try and create something that would help them get rich, both twins were exceeding clever with chemistry but they had been blowing stuff up for years and Fred just hoped the scar wouldn't mark him too bad,

He moaned in delight as he placed his hand under the tap and ran the cold water over his hand, he closed his eyes as the pain started to subside, after a few moments George came back with a bunch on first aid equipment,

"You okay?" George asked,

"Oh yeah I'm great my hands mauled but other than that I'm fine" he sarcastically replied as George began to wrap a bandage around his hand,

"Guess my calculations were wrong then uh?" George replied warily with a small smirk,

Fred looked at him with a deadly twinkle in his eye,

"Ya think?"

**Ooo~ooO**

_**Even Later that day:**_

Ron rubbed his head as he slowly walked home; the constant pounding in his head was killing him,

He couldn't really remember what had happened except that he had managed to touch some hot girls tits,

_"I guess I finally scored last night_" he thought his mood listening a small bit,

He wasn't sure what time it was but he was sure he was going to get an ear full from his mother when he got home, that thought killed any happy thoughts he had,

Has he silently walked home his stomach started churning in pain, when he finally reached home he found he was too late and his trousers were later thrown away.

**Ooo~ooO**

**A/N:**

**Okay this is a side story to explain a little more of what happened when Harry and Hermione invaded the Weasley house, this isn't meant to be taken seriously and has absolutely NO bearing on the main story,**


	4. Luna's Addiction

Luna's Addiction

**Disclaimer:**** No I'm not a middle aged women with a healthy bank account and terrible at writing romance…guess I'm not JK Rowling then.**

Her friends had been worried about her for weeks,

Luna showed no remorse in her new addiction, she also showed no signs of stopping and no embarrassment about doing it in front of others either,

Hermione recalled a small dinner-get together recently and Luna had been sat at the table doing **that **all evening, even her food had hardly been touched,

Not to say they hadn't tried to stop her but every time they took it away, they got to see the even more psychotic side of Luna, hell Ron had landed in St Mungo's with crushed testicles for taking it away,

However it all came to an end one night when Hermione called in to check on her when she found the poor blonde girl sobbing her heart out in her living room,

"Luna, what's wrong honey?" she asked, the blonde girl looked up at her tears streaming down her face,

"It was…it was…terrible" she sniffed, Hermione grabbed the girl into a hug and gently nursed her,

"Tell me what happened Luna," she said softly,

"I…I finally reached Cerulean cave…and found Mewtwo…I battled it for nearly twenty…twenty minutes…then…I…ran out of…. ran out of Poke Balls…I had no choice but to kill it…I didn't mean to but…it just kept breaking out…time…after time…I almost had them all and now my collection of creatures will never be complete…" Luna proceeded to begin crying again,

Hermione shook her head at her friend's behaviour, she was seriously regretting letting Luna buy that Gameboy now.

Ooo~ooOA/N:

Just a small one-shot that would not leave me alone…for some reason I can see Luna becoming a Pokemon addict.

**Also be honest, without that damn masterball Mewtwo is a bitch to catch.**

**Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot, also remember I only tend to write these when my writing mojo isn't there.**

**TurboOneTwenty**


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